3 Ways To Get Over An Ex Who You Lost Your Virginity To At A Young Age

With major emotional experiences, psychologists say that our “firsts” are usually more memorable and continue to have emotional power throughout our lives. This means it’s going to take some time to get over your ex. It also means you will probably never forget him. [2] X Research source Rather than trying to forget, just accept your feelings as they are.

After you’ve had a few days to grieve, try to put things in perspective. You are the same person you were before you lost your virginity. Keep in mind, too, that you get to define what the important romantic and sexual moments in your life are. If you don’t want to look back at this as the sexual experience of your life, you don’t have to. You’ve had one experience with one person, but a different type of sexual experience with someone else may be more special later. The “big moment” for you may not have happened yet.

If you feel rejected by your ex, you might be telling yourself it happened because you are not good enough or not attractive enough. You might be telling yourself you won’t find happiness again. If you’ve lost your virginity to someone and then been rejected, these ideas can be hard to push aside. If you notice yourself thinking these thoughts, try to replace them with more positive ideas. Your ex may not want to be with you anymore, but others will. Her rejection of you doesn’t make you a lesser person in any way.

Try to be realistic about your possibilities for future happiness. You were happy before this happened, and you will be happy again. In your life, you will love other people. Try not to dwell on thoughts about getting back together with your ex someday. Young love is powerful, but in most cases, doesn’t last. You and your ex are both at a point in your lives where you are changing quickly and still discovering who you are. These changes usually push young people apart. It’s no one’s fault, and all you can do about it is move on with your life and allow your ex to do the same.

For example, you might decided that you are going to spend no more than an hour a day grieving your loss. Maybe you’ll set aside two blocks of 30 minutes where you allow yourself to really feel the pain, but after that, go do something else that will keep your mind occupied. After a while, try cutting down to two 15 minute blocks. Some people find that putting their pain in an imaginary box that they open on a routine schedule starts to make that pain boring. Eventually, this can help you to lose interest in these sad feelings and get on with life.

This doesn’t mean you can’t ever be friends, but as long as you still have strong romantic feelings towards that person, spending time with your ex is going to make it harder for you to move on by bringing up powerful memories again and again. Take some time, and if later you’re ready to be friends and still want that, then give it a try. If you go to school with your ex, this can be difficult, especially if you have classes together. There’s no need to be rude or pretend your ex doesn’t exist, but avoid situations in which you have to interact. If necessary, ask him to do the same.

Psychologists have found that, even though it may seem like talking about your ex brings up more feelings of sadness or rejection, people who talk about their breakups regularly get over them more quickly. [6] X Research source Losing your virginity is a sensitive topic, so make sure to confide in someone who you can trust not to judge you or share your personal feelings with others.

This includes any gifts your ex gave you, pictures of the two of you together, or anything else along those lines. Some people decide to throw away or destroy these mementos, especially when they feel angry or rejected. Some people end up regretting that decision later. A better idea is to put them away in a box where you just won’t see them. After you’ve gotten over your ex and are feeling less emotional, you can decide if you want to keep any of those items.

This can be as valuable as talking to another person, and can be a place to vent feelings that you think might be too private to share with anyone. If good things happen that make you feel better about life, write about them in your journal too. This can help you start focusing more on positive changes in your life.

This is a great time in your life to think about your own goals and to try new things. Maybe you’ll take up a new hobby, spend more time with friends, start working out or playing sports, or make some life change you’ve been wanting to make for a long time. Focusing on the present and creating new positive experiences will help you move past your feelings for your ex. [8] X Research source

Psychologists have found that it takes the average person 11 weeks to start feeling positive changes after the end of a relationship. [9] X Research source Don’t be surprised if it takes a little longer for you. The fact that there was a memorable “first” in your relationship makes this recovery emotionally intense.

Dating (or having sex) again before you are over your ex can lead you to make comparisons between the new person and someone you still may love. This can end up making you feel lonelier than you were before you started dating again. Rushing into a new relationship before you’re over your ex can end painfully for both you and the new person you have started dating. [10] X Research source Especially if losing your virginity was a negative experience, do not rush out and have sex with other people right away. A negative “first” like this sometimes leads people to seek out similar experiences with others, leading to more bad experiences and heartbreak. [11] X Research source Wait until you have gotten your emotions under control before getting romantically or sexually involved again.

After a hard breakup, many people are afraid to love someone again. It can feel scary to open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. In the end, though, it’s worth it. Having new romantic experiences will enrich your life and help you see that breaking up with the person who you lost your virginity to is not the end of the world.