For example, you might have been left out simply because there was a missed communication, such as a lost letter or unsent text message. Or, you might have been left out simply because the person was not thinking clearly and she might feel really sorry for leaving you out.
The person who you share with may be able to tell you about a time when he or she was left out and may even be able to give you some advice about how to deal with your situation. If being left out has been an ongoing problem or if you are experiencing distress as a result, then you may want to consider talking to mental health professional. [5] X Expert Source Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETSClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 3 February 2022. If you are still in school, then you can talk to a school counselor. If you are no longer in school, then you can find a therapist.
To use journaling to help you deal with being left out, get yourself a journal or notebook and start writing in it for a few minutes every day. Your first entry could be about being left out. You could describe what happened and how it made you feel.
People who exclude others on purpose probably have some insecurities and biases that are skewing their ability to interact with certain people in a kind way. People who exclude others also want to be in control and they may be leaving you out because they see you as a threat to their control.
For example, after being left out, you might find that you think to yourself, “Nobody likes me!” Of course, this thought is not true or realistic. [9] X Expert Source Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETSClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 3 February 2022. It is an overreaction. To reframe this thought, you might change it to something like, “I am a good person and a good friend. The people who really matter in my life enjoy spending time with me. ”
For example, if you were not invited to a party or some other social event over the weekend, try telling someone about something fun that you did with your family. If someone mentions the party, then try saying something like, “It sounds like you had fun. That’s awesome! I didn’t know about it, but I was too busy anyways. What else did you do this weekend?”
If you think it was a mistake, then try saying something like, “I think there must have been a mistake with your birthday invitations. I did not receive an invite to your birthday party. ” If you think that you were left out on purpose, then try saying, “I noticed that I was not invited to your party. It is your party, so you have the right to invite who you want, but I am just curious about why I was not invited. ”
Try writing a letter to the person that you do not send. In the letter, express how being left out made you feel and explain that you want to forgive the person for your own benefit.
Try joining a special interest club or after-school sports team to meet people who will share your interests.
For example, you can read that book you have been dying to check out, finish drawing a self-portrait, take a long bubble bath, or watch one of your favorite movies.
