Also, caring too much about your reputation can, in fact, be a sign of immaturity. So, if you are overly worried, shrug it off a little bit. [4] X Research source Ask yourself why your reputation matters for you. What are the consequences of others seeing you as immature? If they are minor and do not impede you in any important goals, consider shrugging your reputation off and focusing on other aspects of your life that are more important to you.
Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself whether you believe you may be immature and if so, whether it might be worth changing your ways. Remember not to be too bothered by information that is not an accurate reflection of yourself, unless this information is actually damaging in a real, concrete way (i. e. , it impedes with a goal that you value, such as having more friends). [5] X Research source
Take note of how you think, feel, and act, relative to others your age and slightly older than you. Do you find yourself to be much more dependent on others than people your age? That may be a sign that you have identified an area of your life that is contributing to your immature reputation. You could work to improve this by becoming more self-sufficient; take a task you used to get help with and try doing it on your own![9] X Research source Do not take discrepancies between your behaviors and those of your peers at face value. All people have different life experiences, cultural backgrounds, and circumstances that may account for their behavior differences relative to their peers. For example, due to an increased emphasis on interdependence, it is more common for children from parents of East Asian descent to live with their parents until older ages relative to Caucasian children. [10] X Research source If you did not consider idiosyncratic information about yourself, such as your cultural background, you may unwittingly view your behavior as immature, when in fact it more reflects a cultural difference.
Remember to keep in mind how you would feel if you were being treated exactly how you are treating someone else. At the same time, recognize that not everyone feels the same way about everything. Keep in mind relevant information you know about the person you are interacting with. For example, if you know that someone is self-conscious and does not like to be playfully teased, save your joking around for someone else who may appreciate it more.
If you feel that you are overly self-conscious, try asking yourself how often you actually spend time thinking about others in a negative way. Chances are it is not that often, and chances are, too, that other people are not spending much time thinking negatively about you, either.
For example, if someone helps you out, be appreciative and help them back. If you are not able to help them right away, be sure to write a note for yourself so you do not forget to help them when you are able to. Do not intentionally burp or pass gas or do other things with your body that is against most groups’ social norms. Be sure to use good table manners. Be sure to offer your gratitude to whomever prepared the meal. Offer to wash the dishes as a way of letting them know that you appreciate their hard work. If it is a more formal setting, be sure to unfold your napkin and place it on your lap under your table. Do not speak with your mouth open.
For example, if you don’t want to do a chore, instead of saying “No! I don’t want to do that!” you might say “Would it be alright if I first finished what I’m doing before I take care of that? It should be within the hour. ”
To calm your emotions, try re-appraising the situation by posing questions: What is the worst that can really happen from this? Did she really mean to say that or was she maybe being careless, or has she had a long day and should I cut her some slack? Have I ever done that to someone else and should I be more forgiving as a result?
For example, if you really struggle with taking others’ perspectives during conversation and do not feel you can address this to improve your reputation, overcompensate by doing more chores around the house, or by becoming even more financially stable or independent, or by fostering your emotional maturity.
When you apologize, do not over do it. Focus instead on actively showing, through your improved behavior, how you will fix the situation you regret or otherwise avoid it in the future. In other words, when making an apology, don’t just tell, also show that you are sorry. [20] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
To figure out the source, try asking others who they heard particular information about you from.
By starting afresh, your reputation now has a clean slate and you can be seen as mature through your new found behaviors, thoughts, and emotions, more easily.
