Write out your thoughts. Often times, your emotions can be chaotic after a fight. Take some time to jot down how you feel and the things you regret. Remind yourself that fights are a natural part of any relationship. If handled correctly, however, they can make your friendship stronger.
You might say something like “I am so sorry for saying those hurtful things that I said to you and I know that that behavior is unacceptable. I don’t want to speak to my friends in that way, especially not my best friend. I hope you will forgive me. ” Your friend will likely feel very moved by your apology and may apologize as well. Be sure to think of the ways that they hurt you as well so that you can articulate that when the time comes. You may need a little time before you are ready to apologize. That’s okay! Wait until you are calm and rational to apologize.
You may want to send a text that reads something like “I know the last time we talked ended on bad terms. I have thought a lot about the fight and what I did and said and I want to tell you that I’m sorry. I miss you and I’d like to sit down and talk sometime soon if you have time. ” If your friend does not want to meet you, consider writing them a letter apologizing since you cannot offer your apology in person. This way, you will at least know that your friend knows you’re sorry and want to move forward, whether the feelings are reciprocated or not.
You might say something like “Hey, wanna go somewhere to talk for a bit? We could meet for lunch or go take a walk. ” Meet in a neutral, quiet place. A park or a coffee shop are great places to meet that are relaxed and chill. This will set the mood for a less tense conversation.
Apologize for exactly what you are sorry for. [2] X Research source Reassure them that you will avoid making mistakes like that in the future. Admit responsibility for your part in the fight. [3] X Research source Don’t make excuses for your behavior. Give up the need to be right. [4] X Research source
Apologize for the ways you have hurt them apart from this latest issue. Think critically about what they are saying to you so that you don’t apologize just to end the conversation. Make sure that any “I’m sorry” you offer is genuine.
You can say something like “I’m so sorry, again, for hurting you, but I don’t want this to end our friendship. Will you be my best friend again?” Don’t present this as an ultimatum and don’t make them decide in the moment unless they want to.
You can tell them “I know this might be a lot to take in in one day and that the feelings from our argument are still fresh, so please take some time to think and I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk. ” It can take time and effort to rebuild trust again, especially after a major fight. Apologizing alone may not be enough, but if you give your friend space, they may come to trust you again.
You may say something like “I hope you’re doing well! We haven’t spoken in a while but I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately and wanted to see how you’re doing and what you’ve been up to. ” Get in touch via social media. If you don’t have their phone number, this could be a great way to find them and reach out. Get in touch via mutual friends. If you have mutual friends between the two of you, reach out to them so they can help you reconnect.
Make sure to display genuine interest when asking them about their lives. This will show them that you care and will help restore your friendship.
You can say something like “I recently got into college at the local University and I’m so excited about it. I remember that you were applying there, too. ” Be sure not to dominate the conversation with information about you.
You could invite them out by saying “Wanna grab lunch one day soon downtown? Or go see a movie? I’d love to hangout. ” If you do meet up, avoid meeting in a loud or noisy place. One idea is to meet for coffee or lunch.
Keep the conversation light, though. Don’t pressure them to talk about it and don’t make it tense. Consider beginning the conversation like “It’s been so nice catching up with you. I often think about how we drifted apart. When you moved away, I thought things would be different, but I didn’t know how much. I’ve really missed you. ”
More than anything else, keeping your promises and following up with your friend will help rebuild your friendship. If you truly care about your friend, make an effort to stay in touch.
Make sure not to be the only one initiating contact. If you find that nine times out of ten, you’re the one reaching out first, give your friend some space to breathe. If they reach out first, it will make your friendship stronger and more mutual.
You might want to say something like “Remember that time we went to the movies and we laughed so hard we were crying? We really had so much fun together. ”
One way to develop trust is to share secrets with each other. As your friendships progresses, begin divulging new information about yourself that they didn’t know before, and asking them to do the same. You can even make a game out of it.
Bond over cooking a new dish together or trying out a new sport. You can also conquer a mutual fear like a fear of heights together by riding a rollercoaster or something similar. Your friendship may change in new and unexpected ways. Embrace this change. Try to avoid dwelling on how things were before.
