When your dad starts picking on you, just pretend you do not hear him. If he persists in picking on you, simply walk away. Acting like you don’t care may bore your dad. If he thinks it’s funny to see you get mad, he’ll lose interest if you just ignore his behavior. This can be a good way to get him to stop in the moment.

Be assertive without being aggressive. Do not raise your voice, but simply say in a stern manner, “Stop talking to me like that. " After you ask your dad to stop, walk away from the situation. While this can be a good technique, if your dad has a temper, you may want to take a different route. You do not want to escalate the situation.

As with confronting your dad, however, be careful. If your dad has a temper, you do not want to risk making him angry and potentially escalating the situation.

Another adult can help you sort out your feelings. If you want to talk the problem over with your dad, another adult can help you figure out how to best bring up how your dad makes you feel. Tell another adult exactly how your dad is picking on you. You can also tell them how the behavior makes you feel. For example, “I don’t like it when dad yells at me when I don’t do my chores. The way he talks to me makes me feel insecure and scared and I wish he would stop. "

Do you know a time when your father is generally in a good mood? This may be a good time to talk with him. For example, maybe your father is always in good spirits when he gets home from bowling with his friends. You may want to let your dad know you want to talk ahead of time, so he has a head’s up. If your dad has a busy schedule, he may need to carve out some time to have a discussion. You can say something like, “Dad, I need to talk to you sometime this week about something that’s bothering me. Can you let me know when is good for you?”

Avoid sounding accusatory. Do not open the discussion with something like, “Dad, I hate how you’re always yelling at me. " This will make you sound hostile, and your dad may become defensive. Instead, start with something like, “Dad, I don’t feel like we always get along as well as we should, and I don’t like that. I would like to work on fixing this. "

An “I” statement has three parts. It begins with “I feel. . . " after which you immediately state your feeling. Then, you state the action that led to that feeling. Lastly, you explain why you feel the way you do. For example, you may be inclined to say something like, “You yell all the time about my grades because you think I’m stupid. It’s really mean because you know I try hard. " This sounds very hostile, and it could put your dad on the defense right away. You can use an “I”-statement to better express that feeling. For example, say something like, “I feel hurt when you yell at me about my grades because I feel like you’re saying I’m stupid, when I’m trying my best in school. "

Listen to what your father has to say. He may have many reasons for picking on you. He may be stressed at work, or he may simply not realize how the behavior was making you feel. For example, your father may say something like, “I thought it was just lighthearted teasing. I didn’t realize it was hurting your feelings. " If your father is receptive to what you are saying, he will hopefully offer an apology and an explanation. The two of you can move forward towards a healthy relationship.

Find time to talk every day. You can talk to your dad at the dinner table, or after he gets home from work. You do not always have to have a serious discussion. You can simply talk about your day at school. If your dad did something to hurt your feelings, make sure to let him know. You want to make sure he knows if he’s continuing to pick on you and upset you.

You may want to talk to a counselor at your school before talking to your parents. Your counselor can help advise you on how to bring up family counseling, and may even be able to talk to your parents for you.

Your dad may ignore you when you do not behave the way he wants. He may not look at you or call you by name. Your dad may prevent you from seeing friends. He may not allow you to have a normal social life. This is to keep you isolated and away from others. Your dad may talk to you in a way that is traumatizing. He may ridicule you or curse at you. He may call you things like “stupid” or “worthless. " He may also do things to scare you, like placing a pet or a sibling in a dangerous situation.

If you do not have an adult you feel you can trust, try calling Childhelp USA. This is an organization that seeks to help children who are being physically or emotionally abused by a parent. You can call at (800) 4-A-CHILD.