Does it feel like the support you provide this pal is never really reciprocated? If so, you may be dealing with a fair weather friend.

Think about the time, energy, and effort this friend is willing to put into your relationship. Do they prioritize you like you prioritize them? If they don’t seem to care much about seeing you, this could be a fair weather friend.

Does this friend seem more interested in you when you’re with your cool friends? Or, do they only seem to be happy when you pick up the tab? If you’re getting the sense that this friend cares more about what you can offer them than your companionship, this could be a fair weather friend.

Am I okay with a casual relationship, knowing that they’re a fair weather friend? If not, do I think there’s any chance they’ll change their behavior if I speak to them about it? If they can’t change, are the good times with this friend worth the occasional hurt feelings?

While you’re explaining yourself, try to use statements that begin with, “I feel. ” Try to give your friend the benefit of the doubt and avoid name-calling. You may need to be prepared to listen respectfully if your friend has something to say. This is great news; they care enough about you to engage. Finally, explain that you want a genuine relationship. Now you two can talk through mutual expectations going forward.

Try to enjoy the positive parts of the relationship. Maybe they take board games as seriously as you, and you love that. Enjoying playing a round. Make sure you don’t let this fair weather relative drain you. It’s great to help people you love, but you’ve got to take care of yourself first. Remember, you don’t need to feel guilty if you decide you can’t maintain contact with a relative. You deserve respect in your relationships, even with family.

Just make sure this new arrangement really does add to your life, instead of causing unnecessary stress. It can be hard to shake expectations for others. Ensure you’re not continuing to give more to the friendship than you’re receiving. Protect your own energy and emotional reserves. Avoid dropping everything to support a relationship that has drained you in the past.

Sometimes, getting validation from people around you can help a decision like this feel more digestible. Talk to a close friend or family member who can help. If you’re not sure about how you feel just yet, try spending 5 minutes on a quick journaling session. This can help you untangle any big or conflicting feelings.

If they make plans with you, you can be direct. Or, you can accept the invitation, but not make new ones. Things with a fair weather friend will likely peter out.

Focus on being honest, but fair. Avoid name-calling, blame, and give them the benefit of the doubt when you can. This way, you get to leave things on a kind note. If you genuinely do, you could even wish them well. “I think you’re great to hang out with. But I noticed that we have different expectations in this friendship, and that hurts my feelings sometimes. I think I need to move on for my own happiness. "

“At this point, it just feels like I’m always going to put in more effort than you are, and that doesn’t feel good. " “I love hanging out with you, and that’s why it took me so long to take steps to cut off a friendship that wasn’t giving me what I needed. " “I definitely still wish the best for you. This relationship just isn’t working for me. I’d be happy to answer questions if you have them. "

You may feel like blocking, unfollowing, or deleting this fair weather friend may be too much. Most social media sites give you ways to block someone’s content without them knowing, like Instagram’s “mute” feature.

When someone you care about disappoints you, it can really sting. It would make sense if this friend’s behavior left you feeling majorly upset. But you’ll feel better about yourself if you walk away with your head held high. Instead, turn your focus towards your other awesome relationships.