For instance, you might notice that your child is spending more time focused on their appearance than they usually are. Or, for example, you might notice that they get the giggles when you mention a specific classmate or a friend. You can always ask your child, “Is there anyone that you might be interested in as more than a friend?”
For example, you might explain that when you have a crush on someone, you often want to spend more time around them. You might say, “When you have crush feelings, that person makes you feel happy just by being around. ” Be sure to normalize your child’s feelings to keep them from getting embarrassed around their crush. Let them know that having a crush is totally normal and healthy. If you are unsure how to approach this subject with your child, look online for age-appropriate video resources. These can sometimes be more comprehensive and more relatable.
For instance, you could say something like, “Have you told your crush how you feel? Do you plan on telling them?” Or, you might explain, for example, “Sometimes you can have feelings about someone, but they don’t feel the same about you. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. It just means the other person has different feelings, and that’s okay. ”
You might tell your kindergartener with a crush on their older sibling’s friend, “It’s okay for you to have a crush on Sam and keep it a secret. Sometimes that’s how crushes are. ” Or, you might say, “When you tell your crush you like them, remember that you’re being brave by telling them. ”
You might start by explaining that their feelings are normal. You could say something like, “It’s okay for you to have these feelings and to want to be around your crush. ” You might also say, “At your age, I’m okay with you sitting next to your crush, holding their hand, and talking on the phone. ”
For instance, you could explain to your preschooler, “It’s okay for you to hold hands and sit by each other, but you aren’t allowed to kiss. ” Or, with a preteen, you might say, “You aren’t old enough yet to cuddle or kiss. ”
Talk to other parents about how they handled their child’s first crush in order to get ideas for how to cope with your child’s feelings. Avoid telling your child that their feelings aren’t real or appropriate because you aren’t ready for them to have a crush.
Ask about their crush every now and then, but avoid interrogating them about it on a regular basis. They may get embarrassed, or even annoyed, and resist sharing anything with you. Let them experience the course of the crush on their own. Although you may want to, you can’t control how they feel or how anyone else feels about them. Let them experience their crush without too much input so that it seems like a normal part of life rather than a big deal.
For instance, if you think your preteen’s crush on the neighbor is making them do things that break your rules, you should trust your instincts and address the situation.
